The Week before Xmas
(dedicated to some of my favorite employers)
Twas the week before Xmas and all thru the office
The workers were dashing to jack up the profits
In hopes that the project soon would be done
So they could go home to their daughters and sons.
Hey look, there's a guy in a red suit & hat
But that ain't no Santa, count upon that.
He's more like the devil with pitchfork and horns
The wickedest Boss that ever was born.
“Ho ho! Janet and Jenny and Dave
Work harder and faster, my corporate slaves!
Here's a company t-shirt to fill you with cheer
You're spending your Xmas and new years right here.”
“Keep typing and Xeroxing, faxing and filing.
Where's your team spirit? Why aren't you smiling?
Your parents are sick? Tough luck. You can't leave
Finish the project and visit their graves.”
What shall we give him for Xmas, pray tell?
A one-way, expenses-paid ticket to hell.
A fun blow-up toy to explode in his face
and splatter his carcass all over the place.
He's better than Scrooge at squeezing you dry
But he says that he's really not such a bad guy.
“My goodness,” he says, “you all look so tired.
Why don't you go home. Merry Christmas! You're fired!”
2001
(dedicated to some of my favorite employers)
Twas the week before Xmas and all thru the office
The workers were dashing to jack up the profits
In hopes that the project soon would be done
So they could go home to their daughters and sons.
Hey look, there's a guy in a red suit & hat
But that ain't no Santa, count upon that.
He's more like the devil with pitchfork and horns
The wickedest Boss that ever was born.
“Ho ho! Janet and Jenny and Dave
Work harder and faster, my corporate slaves!
Here's a company t-shirt to fill you with cheer
You're spending your Xmas and new years right here.”
“Keep typing and Xeroxing, faxing and filing.
Where's your team spirit? Why aren't you smiling?
Your parents are sick? Tough luck. You can't leave
Finish the project and visit their graves.”
What shall we give him for Xmas, pray tell?
A one-way, expenses-paid ticket to hell.
A fun blow-up toy to explode in his face
and splatter his carcass all over the place.
He's better than Scrooge at squeezing you dry
But he says that he's really not such a bad guy.
“My goodness,” he says, “you all look so tired.
Why don't you go home. Merry Christmas! You're fired!”
2001